Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Smitter Smatta

Smattering of different bizness down below...

1) Just bought this book today, I heard great things about it from my memoirs professor. I shouldn't have bought it, I got other things to attend to, but my fellow book fiends know if there is a piece of work you want to read, you'll snatch it up regardless. Right?

2) Better late than never, but I've discovered via Twitter how hilarious Jean Grae is! I mean Damn! Where have I been this whole time? She has a link for a blog, which she hasn't updated for a minute, but I read through her posts and this one made me laugh HARD.
The State of Eh, Chapter 8

"I am not a convenience! I am a PRIVILEGE!" I yelled.

This is, by far, one of my favorite sentences I have ever uttered. It would have been legendary, classic, echoed in the halls of relationship statements... had I not felt the need to add more shit to it and make it sarcastic.


Had I known then, what I know now and still refuse to implement.


Just shut up at the end of saying good shit. Put a fucking period on that shit. A cap. Don't be all BP about it. Yet, no. "


Then....
"Award worthy. It was the scene they would play when I was nominated. People would gasp, feeling moved. As they moved to the shots of the other actresses nominated, after I won, they would be crying...shaking their heads and slow clapping my brilliance.



Yes.
"I am not a convenience! I am a PRIVILEGE!"
He stood there, wide eyed. Still. Eyes dropping to the floor as I dropped my hand. Went to reach out to me. I gave the "NO!" hand and backed up with the "NO!" finger. Complete with lip quivering and all.

Then...My sarcasm kicked in.See, what had just happened in my head, is that although I was SO serious about what I was saying... I mean, shit... this was a serious fucking argument. I meant it. I was just proud of myself for saying it the way I did.

Ok.. so.... I opened my stupid mouth and completely changed tones.

"...because.. If I was a CONVENIENCE.... do I... do I have a fucking neon sign on me? Do I look like I sell slurpees? I have fucking AISLES??? You think I stock motherfucking SLIM JIMS??? Am I open 24 hours for you? Do you want me to sell you a mother.....fucking...LOOSIE??? That's it? My name is BODEGA??? BODEGA? You see an awning??? The word SANDWICH is spelled incorrectly on me? Huh MOTHERFUCKER??? You want a turkey and cheese on a fucking hero??? You don't want mustard?? WHAT??? HUH? HUH? I'm a MART? Oh.. NOW I'M A FUCKING MART??? FUCK... YOU.."


See what I mean? She had me so weak. Read the rest of that post here.

3) What you know 'bout Oh Land. Her voice is breathtaking, listen to educate ya self.



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