Friday, June 11, 2010

count your struggles

I've had an epiphany. I know they can come without a trial or struggle, but I can't help but feel cliche because this one did come with a struggle.
      I was involved in an accident last week, and truthfully, I can't help but feel lucky to be alive. It was on a freeway, at the begginning of rush hour, that key bracket of time when everyone is in that hurry to get home. First of all, freeway accidents scare the shit out of me, and the fact I was in one does not sit well with me. You know those times when traffic is backed up, you see a sea of red lights braking, and you're wondering 'I just need to make it to my damn exit, what is going on.' You drive by, and see a charred car, a car that went into the wall, a car turned over on its roof in the median, and again, you're thinking 'Damn. Nevermind.'
        It was a mini-pile up, the kid in front of me braked too late, and when I looked up from turning my A/C on, he was fishtailing, and I braked to try and avoid him, and instead, this time, it was ME that went into the wall.

         Here's the clincher(s): I was not wearing my seatbelt. And my airbags did NOT deploy. I repeat, did NOT deploy. My only sustained injuries consist of a banged up, sore body and a concussion.
      I was recalling the horror stories I remembered about people I knew, or heard of, who weren't wearing seatbelts in an accident, and a majority always suffered critical injuries, or worse, left this world.
      I have received numerous verbal ass kickings once friends and family heard about that detail, the no seatbelt. And I just listened and nodded my head, what else was I gonna do?
       I have had some occurences within the span of the past 2 years that can only be qualified as bottom of the barrel shit that did not leave me standing, but instead left me fallen to my knees. I got the scars to prove it. This accident is only icing on that nasty, undercooked cake.
      But I was reflecting, as low as those experiences left me, it could have been so much worse. It really could have. And I can't help but think I'm meant for something more, because while I have not been left unscathed from these things, I'm still here. And in one piece, because it's just not my time.
It's true one needs to count your blessings as well as your struggles. Your blessings are given to you, earned by you, but your struggles are likewise, the emotions and strife generated are unique unto you. They are what create what I like to call fuerza,  or strength in Spanish.

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