Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Liking what is different

A friend of mine relayed a story to me than left me thinking...a conversation with her mother Lupita left her stewing.

I myself think Lupita is a funny woman, and I'll explain why.
She is involved in a interracial relationship,
her as a Latina, and her husband being Caucasian.
And to be honest, he is quite the Caucasian, white skin tone with a pair of light green eyes to boot.

This couple are diligent, church attending folk.
She is constantly stressing to her daughters is to make sure you marry in the church. Meaning, marry a member.
As we all know, you need to be dating members to marry a member. My friend went on a date a while back with a nice boy from church named Bruce. So it happens that the date was cool, he was funny and courteous, but there was just no 'spark'. She told me she'd hang out with the guy again, maybe in a group of people, but probably not go on another date, because that would convey a different type of message.

Recently, my friend was explaining she went and hung out with this guy with a bunch of friends, and she actually went out with them as a favor to one of her girls (who was moping about a guy, and wanted to get out and do something). She mentions this to her mother and Lupita starts to make a few comments.

'Bruce is a good guy, that should be fun'.

My friend explains to her mom that yes, he is a good guy, and that the hangout should be alright. Lupita picks up on a tone and asks why she's not more excited to go hangout. My friend explains that she's cool to go hang out, but she's not excited because she's not really interested in Bruce like that, he's not quite her cup of tea., that she likes what is different.

'Welllll...what's different then.'

Apparently Lupita asked this in a semi-condescending tone. My friend, she herself being mixed, likes mixed guys. Most of the time, she does not like white guys although she herself partially white. Which I think isn't a problem, she likes what she likes, and which of us doesn't like what is different? My friend explained to me that the problem is there isn't alot of mixed guys, Latinos, black guys, basically anything that's different in her church congregation, if at all any. She has no problem dating people from church, she is friendly, she's flirty, puts herself out there like any other person. My friend just hasn't come across anything that was different to her and piqued her interest yet, not to say that some guy isn't out there somewhere.

Her mom doesn't believe she tries hard enough with the boys from church, and in more or less words, made it sound like bringing someone home who isn't from church and happens to be of a different skin tone from her own (Lupita's and or her daughter's) is going to be a problem. Because they aren't going to want the same things in life, or he's gonna be an unsavory character because he's got a different ethnicity and background to match that skin tone of his.

What's important is about the ties that bind you and whoever it is you date or see together. Difference is beautiful. I find it quite funny because Lupita herself obviously liked what was different to her, a tall, lanky, green-eyed white guy. And from what I understand, her family made fun of her for being the Mexican girl that liked 'the white guy'.


  1. I am open to dating out my race...Though if I do, its typically an African American man. Different strokes for different folks. However, I just love me some Latin Love...

  2. My hubby is white and I loved this!

  3. Tagged your blog!

    I myslef being asian have been with my dude for 3 years, and he is of various mixed races. My mum knows although I have not told her, that we are seeing each other and have been for a while. Of course they want me to be with a asian guy but in my area there are NO asian dudes so that a bit hard! she don't give me a hard time about it but I know she is not 100% happy, but she likes him and feeds him just for my sake i suppose. I appriciate that from my mum, but i know she hopes it won't last! I can't balme her, she was not brought up in a western country like me!

  4. I find this attitude a common occurence in my life. Not with my family but with friends. I'm of mixed race (dad being african, mum being australian) and have dated black guys and just got out of a long relationship with a white guy. In going to Japan I reaaaaaaly fell in lust with the sexy men over there much to the dismay of my friends! "ASIAN?!?" They said.
    There is still a stigma attached to being birracial or being in an interracial relationship and as much as people think that as young people in modern society we are past that, I'm afraid we aren't.