You ever have something that you just mentally can't get a hold of? You don't know how to grip it. Something happened and you just don't know where to fit it in your mind. Friends and family tell me I'm doing great, doing so much better than most would, and I myself didn't understand how I have been managing.
Now I do. Like many others, I seem to have the mechanism of burying it deep in the back of my mind. To the point where it doesn't seem real what happened, it's just this far off distant occurrence that happened 6 months ago. Maybe it's something my mind made up.
But unfortunately it's not. I have kept myself a float these past months, but there are those moments that happen like clockwork every so often that leave me crippled.